14 Comments

Yes Richard Slage Jr was his name and he was hit head on and killed heading to work with his wife who was seriously injured but survived. He is still loved and terribly missed.

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Melissa, I am so very grateful that you found this and helped fill in parts of the story, Thank you. I hope posting it in the first place did not feel unkind. I assume that when someone puts a memorial up in a public facing space they want others to see and contemplate the person who was lost there. Please accept my sincere condolences for your loss, and my immense gratitude for helping one who felt called to stop there, beside the road to understand a bit more of the story behind the marker. We learn by observing and can perhaps learn how to deal better with our own losses by seeing how others who have faced such grief before us mark and remember those they've loved and lost.

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I really enjoyed reading what your thoughts and feelings were when you came upon Richard's memorial. Thank you so much for taking the time to share it with others.

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Namasté Melissa. I'm so very pleased to have met you.

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My dad died in a car crash two months before I was born. This happened in England and if I ever get there, I will go to stand in the spot that he died. Thank you for sharing.

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Thank you Trish, for adding a bit of your story here. I understand that need to go stand in the spot and heartily encourage you to offer that kindness to the tiny little one in you that lost him before ever getting to meet him. May it be as you wish...

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Richard Slagle? lost his life the same year my boy entered the world. I left the question mark there on purpose---to mark all the unknowns.

I like the colorful cross with its stone marker.

Only 35 years old... If flowers could speak, they would tell us who still adores him; but they explained everything they could just by being there, I guess: their colors caught your eye and you stopped, you noticed, you took time to figure out his name and years. This means something.

Your reasons for pulling over for crosses make me sad and thoughtful.

Once, I pulled into a grocery store parking lot just after a fatal motorcycle accident. I got out of my car and stood quietly. A man in a truck pulled up, got out, and stood next to me. A white sheet-tent hid the details.

Flowers on crosses are always blooming somewhere...

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I am so grateful for the context you've added here. The story about the motorcycle accident was haunting but powerful. I suspect almost all of us have had some connection with the roadside departure of someone we have known, or at least known of. We seem, universally to need to mark these departure sites, but there is no guidebook that I know of. We can however study the efforts of others and perhaps in that come to some understanding of the need for ritual in this very achey arena.

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My mom also died in car wreck, when I was 13. We were not in her custody and she was also an alcoholic. I am now 58. I visited the highway bridge a few years back. Thank you for sharing your stories.

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This is brave, Nicole. A gift to each of us who will, by reading your story, find ourselves standing alongside you, in some small, shared way, learn to offer ourselves permission by reading your words. Thank you. I am so very grateful for your sharing this here, and assure you that you are most welcome for the stories I share.

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Thanks for pausing on your journey and listening to the voices.

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You're most welcome. Thank you, Jann.

I'm curious. Do you ever stop for these memorials along the road?

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I don’t believe I have - yet. I do respectfully explore old cemeteries.

Road trip in Montana, many white crosses on roadsides - I learned these are placed by American Legion and mark fatalities.

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I've photographed several of them. Montana does it differently than anywhere I know of.

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