Hey David, I’ve read this story a couple of times and finally have decided to respond to it. I experienced the Seventh Day Adventist religion as a child (I was 11) and was so confused by the beliefs of that church. My mother totally believed in religion and we visited all the churches in our “new” town until she decided which one to choose. We were transplanted from Texas, in the 1960s we picked up the roots and planted in California for work and a better life. I’m one of seven, after a terrible car accident the SDA church decided to convert our family, so of course, we were all sent to SDA church schools, the church paid our tuition because we could not afford it. It was not easy to go to school where you were treated different, among a lot of doctor’s kids and just different. After 5 years, the church took me… only me … nobody else in my family… off their church books for wearing ear rings and wearing a skirt that was a bit too high to church, I really thought I had snuck the earrings behind my long hair. Now in my sixties, I don’t have anything to do with religion. I respect religions and others’ beliefs but I personally stay away from it and turn to nature. The best connection to a god, a higher power, a loving force. Thank you for the memories and thank you for your stories. Aseneth
Good morning, Aseneth, I apologize for taking so long to reply to your generous note and greet you, one survivor to another. Your path sounds complicated and likely painful. I’m so glad you found a way through, your curiosity and generosity intact. I’m so pleased to make your acquaintance.
Awe, Memphis, the good, bad and the ugly. My heart felt your anguish, having to say goodbye to a magical wooded reprieve for your soul. What a loss when you had nothing to replace it with…AND then more and more pain that you couldn’t escape. We will always carry Memphis.
Bam! Like so many places, I suppose, each of us was touched by Memphis in our own ways, but what does not seem arguable is the indelibility of that touch. I know you know.
I cannot imagine the sadness held in your young heart at the sight of your secret place destroyed, the fury of having to watch it happen and the powerlessness in being able to stop it... this chapter is heartbreaking David, a very brave revisit that touched the heart of old me and made me watery eyed.
Susie, I am so very grateful for your careful read and generous note. It was a storm and there are scars, but like so many who weather life's storms, it did not break me, it did not last and I have experienced so much beauty and wonder in the years since that I simply cannot tarry in either anger or grief. Thank you, once again for your kindness.
In my 80 years I too have had similar experiences of sanctuary being destroyed for human reasons. It did not make things better for me or the wild things that once lived there.
It's wild, isn't it how profoundly we can still feel and remember, even decades later, if we take deep breaths and journey backward, seeking to understand the truth of what has shaped us, thus.
Such poignant vivid writing. And the comment above about “denied” might be an expression of what I felt about how hooked I was and not wanting to be left hanging at the end. 🙏
It took years to trade in my anger, my dismay and distrust for things that would serve me, serve the life I wanted to live, better. We come here to learn how to live beautifully in a world that will challenge us constantly. It is what we are meant to do...
Of all the chapters so far, this one squeezed me in the heart, hard...your bond to the secret woodland haven was so intense, so beautiful---you all wrapped in trees and sun and shade and birdsong, in whispery breezy silences---and adventures! I have nothing but totes admiration even as I wanna cry for that boy, hidden, secretly watching the destruction of what you so deeply loved; then pedaling like a fiery maniac, no not just pedalling---defiantly hands-free flying---facing your pain full on. I love that boy so much, my friend... you know I am forever moved by what you endured; everything, all of it, all those moving parts of the circle of who you always were and who you are.
Deep stuff swirls around me now...big hugs, my dear friend...
I am ever humbled by your generous heart and careful reads, and honored to be so seen. I learn of friendship from you and I am so very grateful. Thank you.
Thanks for the great images and emotions of your youth which resonated deeply (how do we survive those tender years - there must be a higher power at work in some of us, maybe most of us, that compels us forward day by day).
I'm touched by your generosity, Amanda. Thank you.
And, uhh ...yes. Been working to unravel several of these stories for a while now and feeling freed up, finally to tell some of them because my Dad is no longer around to be hurt by them. He read several at different stages but only certain ones. Probably a cop-out on my part but it took big work to reclaim parts of our relationship, to forgive the guy who should have protected us, but chose not to see how bad it was, who left us to fend for ourselves with a woman who did not often want to be or act like our mom. He asked a few times why I was holding back on finishing telling some of them and my response was, 'cuz you're still alive. I didn't want to punish him.
If you look on my home page here, at the top you'll see several topical words: Home,
Notes, Read To Me, Roadside Memorials, Raisin' Up Catfish, Archive, etc.
Click on Raisin' Up Catfish and you'll find more than a dozen other chapters (not necessarily in numerical order), that I've dialed up the courage to share, thus far.
Hey David, I’ve read this story a couple of times and finally have decided to respond to it. I experienced the Seventh Day Adventist religion as a child (I was 11) and was so confused by the beliefs of that church. My mother totally believed in religion and we visited all the churches in our “new” town until she decided which one to choose. We were transplanted from Texas, in the 1960s we picked up the roots and planted in California for work and a better life. I’m one of seven, after a terrible car accident the SDA church decided to convert our family, so of course, we were all sent to SDA church schools, the church paid our tuition because we could not afford it. It was not easy to go to school where you were treated different, among a lot of doctor’s kids and just different. After 5 years, the church took me… only me … nobody else in my family… off their church books for wearing ear rings and wearing a skirt that was a bit too high to church, I really thought I had snuck the earrings behind my long hair. Now in my sixties, I don’t have anything to do with religion. I respect religions and others’ beliefs but I personally stay away from it and turn to nature. The best connection to a god, a higher power, a loving force. Thank you for the memories and thank you for your stories. Aseneth
Good morning, Aseneth, I apologize for taking so long to reply to your generous note and greet you, one survivor to another. Your path sounds complicated and likely painful. I’m so glad you found a way through, your curiosity and generosity intact. I’m so pleased to make your acquaintance.
Awe, Memphis, the good, bad and the ugly. My heart felt your anguish, having to say goodbye to a magical wooded reprieve for your soul. What a loss when you had nothing to replace it with…AND then more and more pain that you couldn’t escape. We will always carry Memphis.
"We will always carry Memphis."
Bam! Like so many places, I suppose, each of us was touched by Memphis in our own ways, but what does not seem arguable is the indelibility of that touch. I know you know.
I cannot imagine the sadness held in your young heart at the sight of your secret place destroyed, the fury of having to watch it happen and the powerlessness in being able to stop it... this chapter is heartbreaking David, a very brave revisit that touched the heart of old me and made me watery eyed.
Susie, I am so very grateful for your careful read and generous note. It was a storm and there are scars, but like so many who weather life's storms, it did not break me, it did not last and I have experienced so much beauty and wonder in the years since that I simply cannot tarry in either anger or grief. Thank you, once again for your kindness.
Wow!
In my 80 years I too have had similar experiences of sanctuary being destroyed for human reasons. It did not make things better for me or the wild things that once lived there.
It's wild, isn't it how profoundly we can still feel and remember, even decades later, if we take deep breaths and journey backward, seeking to understand the truth of what has shaped us, thus.
Such poignant vivid writing. And the comment above about “denied” might be an expression of what I felt about how hooked I was and not wanting to be left hanging at the end. 🙏
Thank you for such generous eyes, Steffany. Thank you.
Oh oh oh the forest deleted was crushing. How did you survive that?
It took years to trade in my anger, my dismay and distrust for things that would serve me, serve the life I wanted to live, better. We come here to learn how to live beautifully in a world that will challenge us constantly. It is what we are meant to do...
Of all the chapters so far, this one squeezed me in the heart, hard...your bond to the secret woodland haven was so intense, so beautiful---you all wrapped in trees and sun and shade and birdsong, in whispery breezy silences---and adventures! I have nothing but totes admiration even as I wanna cry for that boy, hidden, secretly watching the destruction of what you so deeply loved; then pedaling like a fiery maniac, no not just pedalling---defiantly hands-free flying---facing your pain full on. I love that boy so much, my friend... you know I am forever moved by what you endured; everything, all of it, all those moving parts of the circle of who you always were and who you are.
Deep stuff swirls around me now...big hugs, my dear friend...
Dear, dear Toni,
I am ever humbled by your generous heart and careful reads, and honored to be so seen. I learn of friendship from you and I am so very grateful. Thank you.
Thanks for the great images and emotions of your youth which resonated deeply (how do we survive those tender years - there must be a higher power at work in some of us, maybe most of us, that compels us forward day by day).
Douglas, your note is a gift. Thank you.
Your writing reminds me of "Where the Crawdads Sing." Please tell me you're working on a book.
I'm touched by your generosity, Amanda. Thank you.
And, uhh ...yes. Been working to unravel several of these stories for a while now and feeling freed up, finally to tell some of them because my Dad is no longer around to be hurt by them. He read several at different stages but only certain ones. Probably a cop-out on my part but it took big work to reclaim parts of our relationship, to forgive the guy who should have protected us, but chose not to see how bad it was, who left us to fend for ourselves with a woman who did not often want to be or act like our mom. He asked a few times why I was holding back on finishing telling some of them and my response was, 'cuz you're still alive. I didn't want to punish him.
If you look on my home page here, at the top you'll see several topical words: Home,
Notes, Read To Me, Roadside Memorials, Raisin' Up Catfish, Archive, etc.
Click on Raisin' Up Catfish and you'll find more than a dozen other chapters (not necessarily in numerical order), that I've dialed up the courage to share, thus far.
Courage is contagious.
A heck of a narrative David, clearly painful to you, but enjoyed it a bunch! Then I'm going whaaat! Denied...? Lol!
Dear Frank, thank you for your kind note. I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
And... I need a little help so that I understand the full import of your words. You wrote: "...Then I'm going whaaat! Denied...? Lol!"
Probably just me, too close to the trees to see the forest, but I missed the meaning of your 'denied.' Can you help a fella' follow the bouncing ball?